♥ 'Sunday, September 19, 2010
I wish i had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But i cant because i know you wont come after me and that's what hurts the most. It had been 303 days.I dont know why i came back blogging about you. I dont know why i feel so alone when there's 5 person around me now. But i guess , I miss you.
♥, Pen ran out of ink @ 4:39:00 AM (:
♥ 'Sunday, June 27, 2010
Took 176 last night .
Same bus , same road , same route , different feeling .
When i was sitting down there , waiting for the bus .
I remember the days when you ended work & then i'll leave home carrying a big bag with me , waiting for the bus to meet you @ the same time , on phone with you .
I dont know why , the nearer the bus is to my destination , the more unwell i was .
Got down the bus , first reaction .
Did i got down the wrong busstop ?
Everything changed . Staircase , colours of blocks , feelings .
People told me , " See , everything changed . His feelings too , he is no longer there & wont be anymore . "
Seriously , i really had the urge to walk up the stairs where we used to climb almost everyday , the one i used to complain , your house where we used to have alot of memories inside , the small garden when we both used to get drenched & splash water @ each other in the rain .
I know i want to , but i know i cant .
I cant pin for anymore hopes now .
I know you wont be back .
I cant possibly have someone who doesnt even fcuking care if i die in mind .
I know you dont care .
I cant keep every single thing of ours .
I know you've thrown it all away .
I cant keep each & every picture of ours .
I know you dont even have one of it .
I cant wait for your text on every 27th .
I know you forgotten the date .
I cant let my tears roll down everytime someone asked about our pasts.
I know you forgotten that we've got a history .
I cant wait for you to say hi & smile at me if we met on streets .
I know you'll turn your back on me .
I cant go to the cafe on every 27th .
I know you wont be there as promised .
I KNOW I KNOW I MOTHERFCUKING KNOW .
I just cant bring myself to stop doing all that .
WHY .
You dont fcuking deserve everything i've done for you .
Same bus , same road , same route , different feeling .
When i was sitting down there , waiting for the bus .
I remember the days when you ended work & then i'll leave home carrying a big bag with me , waiting for the bus to meet you @ the same time , on phone with you .
I dont know why , the nearer the bus is to my destination , the more unwell i was .
Got down the bus , first reaction .
Did i got down the wrong busstop ?
Everything changed . Staircase , colours of blocks , feelings .
People told me , " See , everything changed . His feelings too , he is no longer there & wont be anymore . "
Seriously , i really had the urge to walk up the stairs where we used to climb almost everyday , the one i used to complain , your house where we used to have alot of memories inside , the small garden when we both used to get drenched & splash water @ each other in the rain .
I know i want to , but i know i cant .
I cant pin for anymore hopes now .
I know you wont be back .
I cant possibly have someone who doesnt even fcuking care if i die in mind .
I know you dont care .
I cant keep every single thing of ours .
I know you've thrown it all away .
I cant keep each & every picture of ours .
I know you dont even have one of it .
I cant wait for your text on every 27th .
I know you forgotten the date .
I cant let my tears roll down everytime someone asked about our pasts.
I know you forgotten that we've got a history .
I cant wait for you to say hi & smile at me if we met on streets .
I know you'll turn your back on me .
I cant go to the cafe on every 27th .
I know you wont be there as promised .
I KNOW I KNOW I MOTHERFCUKING KNOW .
I just cant bring myself to stop doing all that .
WHY .
You dont fcuking deserve everything i've done for you .
Happy1year3months to myself , i pray i'll see you there tmr (:
♥, Pen ran out of ink @ 3:12:00 AM (:
♥ 'Thursday, May 27, 2010
6month since we're apart .14months supposed-to-be.
27th , 03.27am . (Y)
People say , it takes -howlong- to forget a particular person you both have been together .
Does it mean that i'll be able to get over you 2 month later on this date ?
Hope so .
Seriously , am contented to see you in this state .
Remember your studies . (:
tolatolatolatolatolauoyssimi , more than words could describe .
♥, Pen ran out of ink @ 2:41:00 AM (:
♥ 'Friday, April 23, 2010
Raining on the 151th day , on the 23rd . ;)
People say , rainbow after rain . When's mine ever coming ?
♥, Pen ran out of ink @ 6:41:00 PM (:
♥ 'Saturday, April 10, 2010
Seriously , i dont see why some can forget all those ups & downs that they went through together & then do all sorts of bad things to each other.
People just use the word , wrong .
So they're trying to say that i was wrong for the past 4 years ?
My 4 years friend knew what's the most impt to me & then attack on that ?
And then people use a 5 letter word to explain ?
Is it meant to be a joke or what .
What's the most heartbreaking thing is that ,
I realise , my heart didn’t break into a thousand pieces after he left.
Instead, I realised all the things he didn’t do after that piece of news they told him .
He didnt want to hear my stories before putting the blame on me .
He didnt ask me questions at all .
He didnt tried to explain for me even thou he know the truth .
He didnt trust me at all .
After everything , I wondered if he ever knew me at all.
Sometimes it’s easier to say you don’t care instead of trying to explain every single thing , because even if i did .
Would you choose to trust me instead of what you're doing now ?
Cgw , Im not over you , i just got used to it w/o you . :')
♥, Pen ran out of ink @ 11:38:00 AM (:
♥ 'Friday, January 15, 2010
Got everything cleared up today .
I realised that , im able to accept the fact slowlyyyyyyy .
All the best . :)
You told me to move on & dont stay at the same spot .
And yes , i told you that i'll .
Like what jiawei had mentioned ,
I'll moving on & at the same time .
Waiting for the past you to be back .
My mind is set , just taking huan's advice .
Following what my heart says .
But dont worry people , i'll be waiting happily instead of a tiring one .
Although , i'm not sure if you'll be back in the end .
It's still worth it , like what i've mentioned just now in the first text to you .
I'll be happy as long as you're . :)
Just remember that , i'll be there for you no matter what , as a friend .
I realised that , im able to accept the fact slowlyyyyyyy .
All the best . :)
You told me to move on & dont stay at the same spot .
And yes , i told you that i'll .
Like what jiawei had mentioned ,
I'll moving on & at the same time .
Waiting for the past you to be back .
My mind is set , just taking huan's advice .
Following what my heart says .
But dont worry people , i'll be waiting happily instead of a tiring one .
Although , i'm not sure if you'll be back in the end .
It's still worth it , like what i've mentioned just now in the first text to you .
I'll be happy as long as you're . :)
Just remember that , i'll be there for you no matter what , as a friend .
Its not about how much love you have in the beginning ,
but how much love you build till the end.
but how much love you build till the end.
♥, Pen ran out of ink @ 6:34:00 AM (:
